A man, who was very skinny indeed although he ate like a pig, finally went to the doctor because his wife urged him to.

"Doctor, I think I may be suffering from a tapeworm."

The doctor looked at the miserable patient in a doubtful way and said, "Please, lie down on the examination couch."

The doctor took a small flashlight and examined the man's behind.

"Well, sir, this calls for a drastic approach."

The physician walked to the back room, and after five minutes he returned with an apple and a biscuit. Using some force, the doctor shoved the apple up the man's backside, waited for five minutes, and then shoved up the biscuit as well.

"Right, sir, repeat this for a whole week and come back on Friday."

The man returned home with mixed feelings.

This better work, he thought. He strictly followed the recipe and repeated the procedure on a daily basis. The next Friday, he visited the doctor again.

"Well, sir, did all go well?" the physician asked.

"Yes, doctor," the man said, "but I haven't gained any weight at all!"

The doctor asked the man to lie down on the examination couch again.

"That's a good sign," the doctor reassured the patient. "Wait just a moment, I'll be back soon."

The doctor went into the back room again, and quite soon returned with an apple and ... a baseball bat!

The patient turned somewhat pale and said, "Doctor, I .... "

The physician urged the man to remain calm. The doctor shoved the apple up the patient's rear end, sat down, and waited.

After five minutes, the tapeworm came out and said, "Hey mate! Where's my cookie?"

BANG!