Who invented copper wire?

Two Dutchmen fighting over a cent.

What does a Dutchman do if he offers you refreshment?

He opens a window.

How do the Dutch police stop a demonstration?

By shaking collection-boxes.

What's the most beautiful place in Friesland?

The bus stop to Groningen. [1]

What's yellow and goes back in time?

The bus to Limburg.

What do you call Limburgians?

Spare-Belgians.

What happens if a Limburgian moves to Belgium?

The IQ rate rises on both sides of the border.

Why does a Belgian have scratches on his face on Monday?

Because during the weekend he tried to eat with a knife and fork again.

Why does a Belgian take hay to bed?

To feed the nightmare.

What do you do if a Belgian throws a hand grenade at you?

Just pull the pin and throw it back.

How can you keep a Belgian busy for a long time?

Give him a piece of paper with "please turn over" written on both sides.

Why does a Belgian have a knife in his car?

To cut corners.

Why does a Belgian have empty bottles of beer in the refrigerator?

For the people who don't want to drink.

How can you make a Belgian crazy?

By putting him in a round room and telling him there is a bag of fries [2] in the corner.

What strikes you if you compare a Belgian with a cow?

The intelligent look in the eyes of the cow.

Why does a German have to be buried with his mouth closed?

To save a lot of sand. [3]

What's the thinnest book ever written called?

"Five centuries of German humour."

How do Germans open a mussel?

They knock on it very loudly and shout: "Aufmachen!" [4]

What's the difference between men and pigs?

Pigs don't turn into men after they drink alcohol.

Why are men, men and rats, rats?

The rats got to choose first.

What's the penalty for bigamy?

Two mothers-in-law.

What does a dumb blonde say if she picks up her mobile phone?

"How did you know I was here?"

What's blonde and smart?

A golden retriever.

What does a dumb blonde think if she sees a banana peel lying on the sidewalk?

"Oh no, there I go again .... "

What happens when a dumb blonde swallows a fly?

She'll have more brains in her stomach than in her head.

Why do women have four brain cells?

One for each stove burner.

How do you open a champagne factory?

By throwing a ship against it.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't return?

A stick.

It's green and if you throw it against the wall, the phone starts ringing at your neighbour's. What's that?

Coincidence, pure coincidence.

Why does a gnome wear wooden shoes? [5]

So he won't be detected floating upside down in a bowl of custard.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a mole?

Very large holes in your backyard.

He walks through the desert and talks all day. Guess who?

Ali Blabla.

What do you call a dog without legs?

It doesn't matter what you call him; he won't come anyway.

Why do government officials never go on strike?

No one would notice.

What has two eyes and sixty-four teeth?

A crocodile.

What has sixty-four eyes and two teeth?

A busload of old-age pensioners.

How can you throw an egg against the wall without breaking it?

By leaving the chicken around it.

It's yellow, and if it hits you in the eye, you are dead. What is it?

A train.

Why is a fire engine red?

The fire department uses hoses.

In hoses there is water.

Fish live in the water too.

Fish have fins.

The Finns live next to the Russians.

The Russians used to have a red flag.

That's why fire engines are red.

What's sitting in a tree and hissing?

A nest of young bicycle pumps.

It's white and running across the desert. What's that?

A herd of yoghurt.

What's the difference between a crocodile? [6]

The more he greens, the more he swims.

What's the difference between a dead bird?

One leg is shorter than the other.