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J1250. J1250. Clever verbal retorts – general. Boccaccio Decameron Day 6 (Lee 176ff.); Italian Novella: *Rotunda; India: Thompson-Balys.
J1251. J1251. Baffling malice with ready answers. English: Child I 20 – 22, 485, III 496, IV 440.
J1251.1. J1251.1. Humiliated lover in repartee with disdainful mistress. (Cf. K1225.1, K1326.1.) Nouvelles Récréations No. 64.
J1252. J1252. Quibbling answers. E.g., Where are you going? – Forward. Where are you going to cut the tree? – At the foot. India: Thompson-Balys.
J1254. J1254. Evading a direct answer which may trap one. India: Thompson-Balys.
J1255. J1255. Answering only ”yes“ and ”no“. India: Thompson-Balys.
J1260. J1260. Repartee based on church or clergy.
J1261. J1261. Repartee based on levity toward sacred persons and things.
J1261.1. J1261.1. Levity toward name of God.
J1261.1.1. J1261.1.1. God as a father-in-law. Nuns tell a man that they are daughters of God. ”Come and marry me; I should like such a rich father-in-law.“ Wesselski Bebel II 120 No. 60.
J1261.1.2. J1261.1.2. Why God has few friends. Priest consoles sick man by saying that God chastens those whom he loves. Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 778.
J1261.1.3. J1261.1.3. Man barks his shins on dark night. ”By the great bugaboo! If I was the Almighty and had a moon, I’d hang it out on a night like this.“ U.S.: Baughman.
J1261.1.4. J1261.1.4. Farmer looks at his hay on ground after a rain: ”If I was a God, I‘d be a God and not a damned fool!“ U.S.: Baughman.
J1261.1.5. J1261.1.5. Woman causes disturbance in church, is carried out forcibly. She remarks. ”Well I am more favored than my Lord. He had but one ass to ride, while I have two.“ U.S.: *Baughman.
J1261.2. J1261.2. Disrespect for the sacrament. (Cf. J1269.5.)
J1261.2.1. J1261.2.1. The sacrament for sale. Sick woman calls the parson but recovers meanwhile He insists on her taking the sacrament and charges for it. ”Set it here on the table; perhaps I can sell it again.“ *Wesselski Bebel II 110 No. 36.
J1261.2.2. J1261.2.2. Distrusts God when he can be brought by a man. Priest offers to help peasant with ”the body of the Lord“. – ”If God can be brought by a man, he is too weak to help me.“ Frey (ed. Bolte) *219 No. 10.
J1261.2.3. J1261.2.3. Priest may eat communion supper. Thief about to be hanged is told that if he truly repents he will eat Lord’s Supper in heaven. ”If that is true, won‘t you eat the supper for me; I’ll reward you well.“ *Wesselski Bebel I 186 No. 42.
J1261.2.4. J1261.2.4. Sacrament too precious to be bought. If that were so, says the apprentice, no one would have given it to you or me. *Wesselski Bebel I 124 No. 12.
J1261.2.5. J1261.2.5. Dante is accused of not kneeling before sacrament. Says that he had his mind on God and did not remember what his body did. If those who criticized him had had their minds on God they would not have noticed it. Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1261.2.6. J1261.2.6. Priest bringing Host to dying man sees thief on his fig tree. Shouts vituperations at him. Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1261.2.7. J1261.2.7. Priest throws Chalice at owl. Says that he thought that the owl had stolen the Host. Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1261.2.8. J1261.2.8. Priest carries the Host across a dangerous stream. Spectators tell him to thank God for not drowning. ”I helped Him across!“ Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1261.3. J1261.3. Will lunch with Christ. Priest tells condemned man after confession that he will dine with Christ that evening. Mule that carries him to scaffold goes very fast and criminal says, ”At this rate I shall lunch with Christ.“ Spanish: Boggs FFC XC 150 No. 1855*.
J1261.4. J1261.4. Blessing not worth a penny. Beggar woman asks pope for shilling and, being refused, for a penny. Finally asks for his blessing, which he gives. Old woman: ”If your blessing had been worth a penny, you wouldn‘t have given me that.“ *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 344.
J1261.5. J1261.5. Will spend the funeral money now. King asks how much his funeral will cost. ”Give me the three hundred ducats now and when I am dead throw me into the Tiber.“ *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 187.
J1261.6. J1261.6. Priest may use his own mother’s mass money. At his mother‘s funeral a boy takes the money laid on the altar for masses. When the priest objects, the boy says, ”When your mother dies you may take the money too.“ Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 703.
J1261.7. J1261.7. Judgment Day a long way off. Thief told by monk that he must return stolen cloth on Judgment Day ”If I have so long a period of grace, I should like to take the whole monastery.“ Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 783; Irish: Beal XXI 327, O’Suilleabhain 76; Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1261.8. J1261.8. Monk‘s cordon cannot stand the strain. Franciscan claims that his cordon will save him from Hell. Benedictine answers that he once had a dream in which he saw St. Francis throw his cordon to save members of his order in Purgatory and so many clung to it that it snapped. (Cf. Q291.1.) Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1261.9. J1261.9. ”Better a live confessor than a dead martyr.“ So answers a preacher when asked whether he preferred to stay at home and confess his flock or go to war against the infidels. Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1261.10. J1261.10. How does goddess with thousand faces blow her noses? India: Thompson-Balys.
J1262. J1262. Repartee based on doctrinal discussions.
J1262.1. J1262.1. Earthen cups replaced by golden. Emperor: ”God is a thief; he threw Adam into a sleep and then stole a rib from him.“ Emperor’s daughter: ”Would you call a man a thief who stole two earthen cups from you and replaced them by golden ones?“ Jewish: Gaster Exempla 196 No. 55, *Neuman.
J1262.2. J1262.2. God in the puddle. A Jew objects to the doctrine that God could exist in the Virgin Mary. A disputant asks if he believes God is everywhere; then if God is in a mud puddle. The Jew agrees. The disputant condemns the Jew for believing that God could exist in a puddle and not in a pure virgin. *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 154.
J1262.3. J1262.3. Acting according to the note. A Jew slaps a Christian and tells him to turn the other cheek. The Christian beats the Jew, who says, ”You do not act according to your Gospel.“ – ”I am acting in accordance with the note.“ – ”The note is worse than the text.“ *Wesselski Bebel II 118 No. 56.
J1262.4. J1262.4. Levity regarding biblical passages. Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1262.4.1. J1262.4.1. Levity regarding the paternoster. Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1262.5. J1262.5. Parishioner hears preacher say that alms are returned ”100 to 1“. Chops down crucifix and takes money from box. Is told that such return would take place in other world. ”I won‘t need money then, but I can use it now.“ Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1262.5.1. J1262.5.1. Whoever gives alms in God’s name will receive tenfold: preacher‘s wife gives sweetmeats away. India: Thompson-Balys.
J1262.6. J1262.6. ”You don’t blame a toolmaker for making all manner of tools, both harmful and helpful, so why blame God for making bad beasts as well as good ones?“ Spanish Exempla: Keller.
J1262.7. J1262.7. Repartee: ”If you can‘t see the soul in the living man, how can you expect to see it in the dead?“ retorts wise man to atheist. Spanish Exempla: Keller.
J1262.8. J1262.8. Skeleton has all his ribs. Indian examines skeleton of man at museum, finds there is no rib missing, concludes that ministers have deceived him in telling him the story of Adam. U.S.: Baughman.
J1262.9. J1262.9. Three true faiths. Ruler trying to confiscate Jew‘s money asks him which is the true faith. ”There are three, the one which the Lord knows is right and the two his children think are right.“ (Cf. H659.5.1, J462.3.1.) Italian Novella: Rotunda (J462.3.1.2).
J1263. J1263. Repartee concerning clerical abuses.
J1263.1. J1263.1. Repartee based on clerical ignorance.
J1263.1.1. J1263.1.1. Why ignorant priests are favored. They can always find patrons as ignorant as they are. *Wesselski Bebel II 100 No. 4.
J1263.1.2. J1263.1.2. Consecration of the ignorant priest. A bishop disgusted with priest’s ignorance says, ”Who consecrated you as priest?“ – ”You did, the time I gave you ten florins.“ Wesselski Bebel I 221 No 114.
J1263.1.3. J1263.1.3. Priest who never reads mass. Peasants complain of his ignorance. He says that they stand so close to him that he is afraid they might memorize and then pay no attention to his reading of it. *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 773.
J1263.1.3.1. J1263.1.3.1. Rushing through the mass. Two priests apply for the position of chaplain and argue as to which one can say the mass more quickly. One clinches the argument saying: ”You could not say it more quickly than I because I don‘t read half of it!“ Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1263.1.4. J1263.1.4. Christ’s disciples did not pass the examination. Ignorant student unable to pass his examination thus consoles himself. *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 856.
J1263.2. J1263.2. Repartee concerning clerical venality. (Cf. J1192, J1263.1.2.)
J1263.2.1. J1263.2.1. Price of consecration. Bishop is paid 100 ova (eggs) instead of 100 oves (sheep) for consecrating man as priest. To bishop‘s protests the man answers, ”You should have refused to consecrate me. If I had been worthy I should not have had to promise oves or ova.“ *Wesselski Bebel I 221 No. 115.
J1263.2.2. J1263.2.2. Rich man shakes ducats into pope’s lap. Pope says, ”Who could withstand such an armored army?“ and decides for the rich man. *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 346.
J1263.2.3. J1263.2.3. Priest refuses small bribe: only for large sum will he sell himself to devil. Pauli (ed. Bolte) No 547.
J1263.3. J1263.3. Christians have a merciful God. Jew so decides when he thinks of the scandalous life of the court of Rome. *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 777; Boccaccio Decameron I No. 2 (Lee 2); Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1263.4. J1263.4. Repartee concerning clerical luxury.
J1263.4.1. J1263.4.1. The abbot‘s luxury and the cardinal’s. Cardinal rebukes abbot for living in luxury beyond that of the founder of his order. Abbot asks cardinal if the cardinals of St. Peter traveled in the luxury he does. *Wesselski Bebel II 115 No. 48.
J1263.4.2. J1263.4.2. Man calls Saints Peter and Paul fools for enduring poverty if rich abbots can reach heaven, too. Spanish Exempla: Keller.
J1263.5. J1263.5. Clergy in no need of spectacles. Many do not pray at all, many know their prayers by heart, and the great prelates look through their fingers *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 514.
J1263.6. J1263.6. Choosing his confessor. Ruler explains: ”I want a lying priest so that if he repeats my confession he will not be believed.“ Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1263.7. J1263.7. Confession made easy. Peasant sees priest at work in the fields. Tells him he wishes to confess. He is told to put money in the box and take the same penance as the year before. Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1264. J1264. Repartee concerning clerical incontinence.
J1264.1. J1264.1. The church his wife. Priest accused of being too intimate with parishioners‘ wives says that the church is his wife and that the men treat her far more shamefully than he treats any woman. Bolte Frey’s Gartengesellschaft *253 No. 96.
J1264.2. J1264.2. Celibacy at the altar. Monk says, ”I vowed three things: poverty in the bath, obedience at the table, and celibacy at the altar.“ *Wesselski Bebel II 133 No. 100.
J1264.3. J1264.3. Father wears a crown but is no king. Priest‘s son is thus taunted. *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 161.
J1264.4. J1264.4. During the silent period. Nun asked why she did not call for help when raped. She says, ”It was during the silent period.“ *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 716.
J1264.5. J1264.5. Youth says he is associating with a pious person. He has nun as mistress. (Cf. J1161.5.) Wesselski *Bebel I 191 No. 58.
J1264.6. J1264.6. Nun claims her child is by the Holy Ghost. Defense accepted. Bolte Frey’s Gartengesellschaft *218 No. 6.
J1264.7. J1264.7. Multiplying his talents. Priest is entrusted with reforming five dissolute nuns. Gets all five with child. The priest is rebuked for not using his ”talents“ when tempted. He answers: ”God gave me five talents and I have added five more!“ (Pun on word talent.) Nouvelles Récréations No. 4; Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1264.8. J1264.8. Unequal returns. Man at his lady‘s funeral says to priest: ”You enjoy them when they are young and then give them to us to bury. Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1264.9. J1264.9. Abbess has twenty-four nuns for twelve monks: twelve nuns therefore for the guests. *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 65.
J1265. J1265. Repartee based on church government.
J1265.1. J1265.1. Like Christ on Palm Sunday. Bishop has parson to dinner in the seat of honor. The parson fears that the dinner precedes punishment. Parson: “Don’t let me be like Christ on Palm Sunday in Jerusalem” *Wesselski Arlotto I 173 No. 2.
J1265.2. J1265.2. Priest offers to exchange places with the bishop when he is told that he is unfit to care for his parish. Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 78.
J1265.3. J1265.3. The same company of fools. An abbot calls the monks together and asks, “Whom from all you fools can I appoint as steward?” A monk answers, “That should not be difficult since an abbot was found from the same company of fools.” Wesselski Bebel II 119 No. 58.
J1269. J1269. Repartee based on church or clergy – miscellaneous.
J1269.1. J1269.1. The parson‘s share and the sexton’s. During the sermon the parson bids the sexton see if anyone is coming. The sexton: “A man is coming with a wheel on his shoulder” – Parson: “God gives it to you.” – Sexton: “Now a man is coming with half a hog on his shoulder.” – Parson: “God gives it to me.” Type 1829*; Russian: Andrejev No. 1829*.
J1269.2. J1269.2. Man absents self from church because he does not like to hear people slandered. *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 797.
J1269.3. J1269.3. Would be first in all things. Chaplain accused of being first to start all knavery thus defends himself. *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 56.
J1269.4. J1269.4. Scolding priest says he is merely trying to get even for all the scolding he must undergo. Wesselski Bebel I 161 No. 96.
J1269.5. J1269.5. Transmutation of the quail. Bishop brought quail on Friday orders them cooked. Blamed. If he can turn bread into the body of the Lord why can he not turn quail into fish? Frey (ed. Bolte) 247 No. 85; Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles No. 100; Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1269.6. J1269.6. The capon and the hen. Bishop refuses a favor to an abbess on the ground that he does not love her. Abbess: “I can well believe that. The capon never loves the hen.” Wesselski Mönchslatein No. 59; Mensa Philosophica No. 115.
J1269.7. J1269.7. Praying before the King of Kings. Man while praying refuses to salute superior. While standing before the King of Kings he could not show respect to inferiors. Gaster Exempla 194 No. 45; Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 617.
J1269.8. J1269.8. Robber‘s defense for stealing from rich. God will not permit them to enter heaven unless we take their ill-gotten goods from them. *Wesselski Bebel II 142 No. 131.
J1269.9. J1269.9. Who bore the Savior on his back? (St. Christopher.) Parishioner: “The ass, for he bore both the son and his mother.” Bolte Frey’s Gartengesellschaft 245 No. 81.
J1269.10. J1269.10. Mice die of hunger. Complaints against underpaid priest that he does not stay at home. Says he cannot stay at home for the mice are dying of hunger since he receives only forty florins a year. Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 773.
J1269.11. J1269.11. Their own quarters need it more. Such is the answer given monks who insist that quarters occupied by the king and his train be reconsecrated. Wesselski Bebel I 189 No. 53.
J1269.12. J1269.12. Youth announces fire in imitation of priest‘s metaphorical language. The fire set by cat’s tail gains headway. Nouvelles Récréations No. 21.
J1269.13. J1269.13. Cannot leave court of God: reply of saint when king invites him to court. India: Thompson-Balys.
J1270. J1270. Repartee concerning the parentage of children.
J1271. J1271. Eunuch visits augurer to see whether he is to be a father. “When I look at the livers, you are to be a father. When I look at you, I see that you are not even a man.” Wienert FFC LVI 40; Babrius No. 54.
J1272. J1272. The gift of the fool. Of three brothers the shoemaker makes shoes for the queen and princess; the tailor, clothes; the fool – children. Type 1548*; Lithuanian: Balys Index No. 654A.
J1273. J1273. Children by day and by night. Artist paints beautiful children but his own are ugly. One kind, he says, are made by day, the other by night. *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No 412; Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1274. J1274. His father has been in Rome. A young man comes to Rome who looks like the emperor. Latter asks him if he mother has ever been in Rome. No, but my father has been here often. (Not son but brother.) *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 502; Mensa Philosophica No. 3; Nouvelles Récréations No. 15; Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1276. J1276. The child born too soon.
J1276.1. J1276.1. Child born one month after marriage. Father-in-law to son-in-law: “Do like my grandson and you will always be ahead of others.” Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1276.2. J1276.2. Too much for his income. Child born two months after marriage. Husband returns wife to her father (uncle) saying: “I can’t afford a child every two months.” Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1276.2.1. J1276.2.1. Child born on wedding night. Groom leaves. Can‘t afford a child every time he lies with his wife. Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles No. 29; Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1279. J1279. Repartee regarding the parentage of children – miscellaneous.
J1279.1. J1279.1. Plea for a good father. Mother of twelve on deathbed explains to family that not all her children are legitimate. Gives the paternity of each child. Youngest leaves his food to say: “Please, mother, give me a good father!” (Cf. J325.) Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1279.2. J1279.2. Even God can overdo it! Returning sailor finds his hovel transformed into a fine house. “Where does all this come from?” Wife: “God’s bounty.” Illegitimate child greets mother. Same question, same answer. Sailor: “I don‘t want God to help me so much!” Italian Novella: *Rotunda
J1279.3. J1279.3. Suitor hesitates to marry girl as immature (or too delicate). Girl’s father protests, saying that she has had three children. Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1279.4. J1279.4. In numbers there is strength. The children of the Genoese are strong because there is more help. Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1280. J1280. Repartee with ruler (judge, etc.).
J1281. J1281. “If I were a tyrant you would not say so.” Answer made by emperor to one who calls him a tyrant. *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 733; Spanish Exempla: Keller.
J1282. J1282. Trickster chooses his gift. To be rewarded by ruler with a coin, an ass, a sheep, or a vineyard. Answers that he will take the coin, mount the ass, drive the sheep into the vineyard, and there pray for the ruler. *Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin II 237 No. 523.
J1283. J1283. Gifts from the brothers. A king gives a man a coin. “Is that all you give your brother?” “Are you my brother?” “Surely, we both pray, Our father, etc.” “If all your brothers give you as much as I you will be rich.” Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 517.
J1284. J1284. Do not leave it to your successor. A widow stops a ruler on his way to war. He may be killed and he should not leave the act of justice as a credit to his successor. *Chauvin VIII 204 No. 246; Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1284.1. J1284.1. Show me how it is done. Wronged woman thus addresses ruler, who is indifferent to insults directed at him. She wishes to be shown how to bear insults. This rebukes him. Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1284.2. J1284.2. Cease being a king. A widow asks justice of a king. The latter says that he is too busy to hear her. “Then cease being a king,” replies the widow. Her bold reply wins an audience with the king. Spanish: Childers.
J1285. J1285. Against his will. A thief condemned to the gallows tells the king, “I do what you do and it is against my will.” King: “You shall also be hanged against your will.” *Basset 1001 Contes I 507.
J1286. J1286. His proper title. A peasant goes to a judge and thinking to gain his favor addresses him with high titles. The judge calls him a fool. “I was mistaken, you swine!” *Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin I 262 No. 223.
J1289. J1289. Repartee with ruler (judge, etc.) – miscellaneous.
J1289.1. J1289.1. Not a locksmith. A judge asks a pseudo-prophet to prove his powers by opening a difficult lock. “I am a prophet, not a locksmith.” Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin I 258 No. 198.
J1289.2. J1289.2. Bishop and prince. Peasant tells bishop, who rides by with forty horses, that he wonders if St. Kilian at Würzburg is also riding with forty horses. Bishop excuses extravagance by saying that he is also a prince and that it is the prince, not the bishop, who is using the horses. “If the prince should become a fool, what would the bishop do then?” Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 158.
J1289.3. J1289.3. Will not try to correct them. Pope calls persistent courtier a fool. Latter says that there are people who call the pope the same thing and that he for one will not try to correct them. Frey (ed. Bolte) 222 No. 17.
J1289.4. J1289.4. The needy philosopher. Philosopher asks ruler for money Ruler says that philosophers do not need money. Philosopher: “If I am rewarded, I will say that you are right; I will no longer need money.” Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1289.5. J1289.5. Wearing all his clothes. Shivering king (rich man) to tattered peasant: “Aren’t you cold?” Peasant: “No, if you wore all your clothes as I do, you wouldn‘t be cold either!” Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1289.6. J1289.6. The prince’s excuse. King to son who has been accused of rape: “I never did anything like that.” Prince: “Your father was not king!” King: “Your son will never be one if you keep that up!” Spanish: Childers; Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1289.7. J1289.7. Shoemaker speaks ill of lord‘s rule. Lord takes his tools away from him. Shoemaker begs for them saying that he cannot carry on his business without them. Ruler: “I thought ruling was your business so I took your tools to learn shoemaking.” Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1289.8. J1289.8. One ear saved for other litigant. Judge stops up one ear while first litigant presents his case. He is saving one ear for the second litigant. Spanish: Childers.
J1289.9. J1289.9. Seek harmony in your own house. King brought to sense of duty by philosopher who tells him to seek harmony in his own house before inquiring about the harmony in his kingdom. Spanish: Childers.
J1289.10. J1289.10. King cannot destroy the city. A philosopher of the city came to him asking mercy for it King said he would do nothing he asked. Philosopher then asked him to destroy the city. This saves the city. Spanish Exempla: Keller.
J1289.11. J1289.11. Man, fined for sabbath-breaking, asks for receipt, explains that if God asks for it, he will not have to journey to hell to get it from the judge. U.S.: Baughman.
J1289.12. J1289.12. Man is arrested for drunkenness; he is so drunk that trial must be postponed. When he is tried later, he is told how at the earlier trial he had kept repeating that the judge was a very wise judge. When he hears this he admits that he must have been very drunk. U.S.: Baughman.
J1289.13. J1289.13. Weaver hearing of tax for every doorway of weavers takes his door to the khan: will not return for the sidewalls of his house. India: Thompson-Balys.
J1289.14. J1289.14. Gem offered by monarch to one who can first go around the kingdom. Trickster goes around king and says king is kingdom. India: Thompson-Balys.
J1289.15. J1289.15. Thief serves king buffaloes he has killed in hunt and lost; thus reproaches king’s wastefulness. India: Thompson-Balys.
J1289.16. J1289.16. Hairless palms from giving and receiving gold. Jester flatters prince for bounty. India: Thompson-Balys.
J1289.17. J1289.17. Emperor: “What people have the biggest bellies?” Jester answers: “The landlords.” India: Thompson-Balys.
J1289.18. J1289.18. Holy man asked by king for the heart of religion answers: “You are sitting on your throne and I‘m sitting on the ground, so how can I tell.” India: Thompson-Balys.
J1289.19. J1289.19. Tailor caught resting his head on royal robe while he rests tells king there is no better resting place for king’s robe, for “the head is the king of the body.” India: Thompson-Balys.
J1289.20. J1289.20. King to smoker: “Even donkeys will have nothing to do with tobacco.” Smoker: “Donkeys don‘t know how to enjoy themselves.” India: Thompson-Balys.
J1290. J1290. Reductio ad absurdum of question or proposal.
J1291. J1291. Question answered by absurd counterquestion.
J1291.1. J1291.1. Black beans, white soup. Question: How can black beans make a white soup? Answer: How can a white whip on the naked flesh make black welts. *Wesselski Arlotto II 252 No. 168.
J1291.1.1. J1291.1.1. Why is it that black cow eats green grass, gives white milk and yellow butter? Answer: The same reason blackberries are red when they are green. U.S.: Baughman.
J1291.2. J1291.2. Theological questions answered by propounding simple questions in science. Where was God before he made heaven and earth? and the like answered by “Why a louse bite raises a blister, a flee bite raises a swelling, and a gnat bite is unnoticeable?” If you cannot answer such simple questions how can you pry into God’s secrets. *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 97.
J1291.3. J1291.3. How many priests should one have in one place? How many fox tails will reach to heaven? All depends on the length of the tails. *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 96.
J1291.3.1. J1291.3.1. How much cloth would it take to make God‘s coat? Just as much as for me, for what you have done for a poor person in my name you have done for me. Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 325.
J1291.4. J1291.4. “In this sesame flower where is the oil?” “When your mother conceived where were you?” India: Thompson-Balys.
J1292. J1292. Tide inquires whether moon is up. Minnow seeing absurdity of question (since tide could not be up without the moon) tells the tide to wait till he gets a drink and he will tell. Africa (Vai): Ellis 200 No. 17.
J1293. J1293. Reductio ad absurdum of proposal.
J1293.1. J1293.1. Little bird as large bird’s mate. A large bird wishes to mate with a little bird. The latter says that she is going to swallow a large eel. The large bird sees the absurdity of his proposal. Indonesia: DeVries‘s list No. 104.
J1293.1.1. J1293.1.1. Absurdity: sea (river) is on fire. Not more absurd than crow claiming swan as wife. India: *Thompson-Balys.
J1293.2. J1293.2. If his head is taken off other punishments do not matter. Judge shows criminal mercy: he will not punish him as he deserves, only take off his head. Nouvelles Récréations No. 82.
J1293.3. J1293.3. Turning king into Brahmin like turning donkey into horse. India: Thompson-Balys.
J1293.4. J1293.4. Pot full of milk as sign that city is full of fakirs; flower on top of milk not disturbing it as sign that one more will not matter. India: Thompson-Balys.
J1293.5. J1293.5. All appurtenances included. Butcher buyer demands saddle and ornaments along with camel (or the like). Seller later buys all heads in butcher shop: demands heads of butcher’s family. India: *Thompson-Balys.
J1300. J1300. Officiousness or foolish questions rebuked. Irish myth: Cross.
J1301. J1301. How he shall be mourned. Women insist on knowing how a man wants to be mourned when he dies. “Mourn me as a man who was tormented by women talking foolishness.” Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin I 232 No. 86.
J1302. J1302. The overloaded mule. Priest complains that miller‘s mule is overloaded. “No, he isn’t; he can still carry all your and your brothers‘ patience.” *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 473.
J1303. J1303. Aesop with the lantern. Aesop goes for fire to a neighbor’s in the daytime and lights a lantern so as to bring the fire back. Fool asks him what he is hunting for with the lantern in the daytime. “I seek a man” (not a busybody). *Wienert FFC LVI 38, 40; Italian Novella: Rotunda (J1442.11).
J1304. J1304. Why the black clothes. A man goes forth in black clothes. People are curious as to the reason. “I am wearing mourning for the father of my son.” Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin I 211 No. 27.
J1305. J1305. How the tail pointed. One who believes in auguries asks peasant woman if she has seen a bird. “Yes, a crow.” And in what direction was his tail pointing?“ Answer: ”Toward the rear!“
J1306. J1306. How marriage was consummated. Mother asks newly-wedded daughter if she approached her husband the first night. Answer: ”He approached me.“ Spanish: Childers.
J1309. J1309. Officiousness or foolish questions rebuked – miscellaneous.
J1309.1. J1309.1. Man asks naked Indian if he is not cold. Indian asks if man‘s face is cold. Man replies that it is not. Indian replies: ”Me all face!“ U.S.: *Baughman.
J1309.2. J1309.2. ”How often do you kill your ducks?“ Answer: ”Only once.“ England, U.S.: *Baughman.
J1309.3. J1309.3. ”Where did dirt go when canal was dug?“ Disgusted father-in-law: ”I have eaten half and your father half, to have such a fool son-in-law.“ India: Thompson-Balys.
J1310. J1310. Repartee concerning wine.
J1311. J1311. What is wanted, not what is asked. A servant is so trained that when the host asks for wine from a good cask he brings it from a cheap one. When the guest objects, the host says that the servant brought not what was asked for but what was wanted. *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 370.
J1312. J1312. The watered wine.
J1312.1. J1312.1. Serve the water and the wine separately. Server of diluted wine thus taunted. *Wesselski Bebel II 108 No. 29.
J1312.2. J1312.2. Washed in the Rhine. Server of diluted Rhine wine thus taunted. Wesselski Bebel II 108 No. 29.
J1312.3. J1312.3. Baptized wine. Christ’s making wine from water has made all landlords try to do it too. Man prefers Jewish wine to the baptized kind. *Wesselski Bebel I 169 No 3.
J1313. J1313. Old wine. Man given his choice of old or new wine says, ”We must honor old age.“ Wesselski Bebel I 163 No. 100.
J1314. J1314. The road to Heaven. To doctor: ”If this is the way to get to Heaven (drinking) I don‘t want to know any other!“ Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1315. J1315. Points of view. Man to friend who drinks very little: ”If everyone drank as you do, wine would be cheap.“ Answer: ”On the contrary, it would be expensive because I drink all I want.“ Spanish: Childers; Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1316. J1316. Very small to be so old. Guest criticizes host’s small serving of wine which he said was six years old. Spanish: Childers.
J1317. J1317. Small jug preferred. Man asks that large jug be filled with wine. Is told to go to the river. Is accommodated when he presents small jug. (Cf. L251.) Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1318. J1318. Wine gives ambassador courage to address Pope. ”Another drink and I could have slapped his face!“ Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1319. J1319. Repartee concerning wine – miscellaneous.
J1319.1. J1319.1. Man says: ”I do love my enemies and I have great affection for them that hurt me.“ (Enemies are rum and hard cider.) U.S.: Baughman.
J1320. J1320. Repartee concerning drunkenness.
J1321. J1321. The unrepentant drunkard.
J1321.1. J1321.1. Where did he get the wine? Father shows drunkard son a drunk man being mocked on the street. Instead of taking it as a warning the son says ”Where does one get such good wine?“ *Pauli (ed. Bolte) Nos. 21, 814; Italian Novella: Rotunda; Jewish: bin Gorion Born Judas II 115, 344, *Neuman.
J1321.2. J1321.2. Though old woman is made to believe she is in hell she calls for drinking companions. *Wesselski Bebel I 230 No. 142.
J1322. J1322. The great thirst.
J1322.1. J1322.1. Will take care of the thirst. Doctors consult how to rid fever-stricken drunkard of his great thirst. ”You take care of the fever; I shall take care of the thirst.“ *Wesselski Arlotto II 267 No. 217; Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1322.2. J1322.2. Sleeping on salt. Priest blamed for large amount of wine he drinks tells people to consider his great thirst. He has slept on a sack of salt and has enough thirst for a week. *Wesselski Arlotto I 208 No. 45.
J1323. J1323. Should have brought him drink. Drunkard‘s wife takes him when he is drunk to a tomb and, masking as a ghost brings him food. ”If you had known me better you would have brought me drink.“ Wienert FFC LVI 38; Halm Aesop No. 108.
J1324. J1324. Stung by the goblet. Doctor tells drunkard, ”The goblet has stung you.“ ”If I had known that I would have drunk out of a glass.“ *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 234.
J1330. J1330. Repartee concerning beggars.
J1331. J1331. Persistent beggar invited upstairs. A beggar will not come in but insists on the man coming down to the door. When he asks alms the man bids him come upstairs. Then he says he has nothing for him. ”You made me come down for nothing; I make you come up for nothing.“ *Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin I 238 No. 113.
J1332. J1332. Beggar wants bread. A numskull tells his mother that a beggar is below asking for bread. Mother: ”Tell him I am not at home.“ Numskull: ”He doesn’t want you, he wants bread.“ *Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin II 239 No. 528.
J1333. J1333. Prove me a liar. Beggar: ”Good day, you stingy fellows.“ They: ”We are not stingy fellows.“ Beggar: ”Then give and prove me a liar.“ Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin II 202 No. 397.
J1334. J1334. Beggar tells stingy to go beg. They say they have no meat, no bread, no wine, etc. ”Then go beg; you have more need than I.“ *Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin II 236 No. 519.
J1337. J1337. Beggar claims to be emperor‘s brother. (All men are descended from Adam.) Emperor gives him small coin. Beggar protests. Emperor: ”If all your brothers gave you that much you would be richer than I.“ Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1338. J1338. Asking costs nothing. So says beggar who asks goldsmith to plate his club with gold. India: Thompson-Balys.
J1340. J1340. Retorts from hungry persons. Irish myth: Cross; U.S.: Baughman.
J1341. J1341. Retort from underfed servant (child). India: Thompson-Balys.
J1341.1. J1341.1. Softening bread-crusts. An avaricious master feeds bread-crusts to his servants. ”The crusts are already getting soft.“ Type 1567.
J1341.2. J1341.2. Asking the large fish. Parents serve boy a small fish and keep back a large one for themselves. Knowing this, the boy puts the fish to his ear. He says that he has asked the fish a question; the fish cannot answer but tells him to ask the large fish under the bed. *Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin I 247 No. 158; *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 700; Lithuanian: Balys Index No. *1565; Italian Novella: Rotunda; L. Schmidt Oesterr. Zs. f. Vksk. 1954, 134.
J1341.3. J1341.3. A dog to scent the rice. Given very thin rice soup, wit inquires about the master’s dogs. ”He should have one to scent the rice in this soup.“ Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin I 259 No 206, Arlotto II 75 No. 105.
J1341.4. J1341.4. Two eggs. Widow serves tailor one egg. He sings, ”One egg, one egg.“ She decides one egg is not enough and serves him two next time. He then sings ”Two eggs are two eggs.“ He is next given two eggs and a sausage, etc. Spanish: Boggs FFC XC 142 No. 1715.
J1341.5. J1341.5. Hungry apprentice attracts master‘s attention by telling lies on him. Spanish: Boggs FFC XC 143 No. 1718, Keller.
J1341.6. J1341.6. Hungry shepherd attracts attention. He tells of a cow with four teats who bore five calves. They ask what the fifth calf does while the other four are nursing. ”It looks on just as I am doing now.“ Spanish: Boggs FFC XC 134 No. 1555.
J1341.7. J1341.7. Stingy innkeeper cured of serving weak beer. She always gives the servants a pitcher of weak beer before meals so as to fill them up. One of them: ”I wash out my insides so as to have more room for food.“ She changes her practice. Type 1566*.
J1341.8. J1341.8. The little lumps of sugar are sweeter, says the hostess. The servant says that he doesn’t like sweets and takes the large lumps. Type 1389*.
J1341.9. J1341.9. Hungry son gets cherries. He slaps another son, and explains that the other boy was saying that he would not get any of the father‘s cherries. The father shares the cherries. Spanish: Childers.
J1341.10. J1341.10. Hungry student gets meat. By telling a mewing cat that it could not yet have the bones because no meat has been served him, a collegian calls attention to an oversight on the part of a servant. Spanish: Childers.
J1341.11. J1341.11. Hired men sing of displeasure with food; change song when food is improved (cante fable). The Westmoreland text follows:
(Mowers sing this very slowly, mow in tempo)
Curds and whey, Iv-ve-ry day
(After the food is improved they sing and work in tempo)
Ham and eggs, mind thy legs.
(Cf. K1546.) England, U.S.: *Baughman.
J1341.12. J1341.12. Hired man shows in saying grace how better food has resulted from arrival of unexpected guests. Nebraska text:
O Lord of Love who art above
Thy blessings have descended:
Biscuits and tea for supper I see
When mush and milk was intended.
U.S.: *Baughman.
J1342. J1342. Prayer over the underdone hen. A guest is seen uttering a prayer before an underdone hen at the table. ”She must be a goddess turned into a hen, for she has been over the fire and spared.“ Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin II 193 No. 378.
J1343. J1343. The liking for food and drink.
J1343.1. J1343.1. The best music. What music do you like best? The sound of plates and spoons. *Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin I 244 No. 133.
J1343.2. J1343.2. Before, during, and after. A priest, asked when he would have certain choice wine served, before or after the meal, replies, ”The holy Mary was Virgin before, during, and after the birth.“ *Wesselski Arlotto I 202 No. 33.
J1344. J1344. Unwelcome guest tells about the hidden food. Having seen his hostess hide it, he tells about it in the form of a tale. Italian: Basile Pentamerone II No. 10; India: Thompson-Balys; Japanese: Ikeda.
J1345. J1345. Why he did not eat the bread. When host inquires, he replies, ”If thou be the son of God, command that these stones be made bread.“ Mensa Philosophica No. 171.
J1346. J1346. Maid rebukes pilgrim for eating too much. ”If both of us had been present at the miracle of the loaves and fishes you would have eaten me too!“ Pilgrim: ”I wouldn’t have eaten you but I would have chewed on you a bit!“ Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles No. 83; Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1350. J1350. Rude retorts. Irish myth: *Cross.
J1351. J1351. Women call each other prostitutes.
J1351.1. J1351.1. Prostitutes wander. A woman having given her cook leave of absence for the next day asks her what day it is. ”Saturday.“ ”No, it is the day on which the prostitutes wander.“ The cook: ”Yes, from one prostitute to another. Today I am with you, tomorrow with your sister.“ *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 160.
J1351.2. J1351.2. The envious accuser. A woman accuses another of being a harlot. The second: ”You would like to be in my place but no one wants you.“ *Wesselski Bebel II 127 No. 83.
J1352. J1352. Person calls another an ass.
J1352.1. J1352.1. The burden of two asses. A king and his son hunting on a hot day put their fur coats on the fool‘s back. King: ”You have an ass’s load on you.“ Fool: ”Rather the burdens of two asses.“ *Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin II 239 No. 527; India: Thompson-Balys.
J1352.2. J1352.2. Age is relative. Young rival derides old one for his age. Oldster: ”An ass of twenty is older than a man of seventy.“ Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1353. J1353. Whom it concerns. There is someone carrying a goose. How does that concern me? He is carrying it to your house. How does that concern you? *Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin II 231 No. 497.
J1354. J1354. Not in his line of business. At market a man enquires of another: ”How is the moon, three-quarters or full?“ ”I don‘t know. I have neither bought nor sold one.“ Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin I 209 No. 17.
J1355. J1355. The one exception. ”You are a good man; there is not your equal on the earth. You have everything for yourself alone; only your wife is public property.“ Wesselski Bebel II 135 No. 104.
J1356. J1356. The flatterer’s retort. Two men meet a homely girl. One of them: ”Who wouldn‘t call that girl pretty?“ The girl overhears and says, ”No one would say it of you.“ The man: ”Anyone might say it who would lie as I have lied about you.“ *Wesselski Bebel II 148 No. 155; Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1357. J1357. Ancient and modern ancestors. To a prince who boasted that he was descended from the Trojans a doctor replies: ”My people are of Nurenberg. Everyone knows who they are; but of the Trojans no one knows anything except that Aeneas was a traitor and Romulus a robber.“ *Wesselski Bebel II 114 No. 46.
J1358. J1358. No thanks to the messenger. A messenger tells a man that he has a newborn son. ”Thanks are to God, but I am not beholden to you for it.“ Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin I 223 No. 59.
J1361. J1361. Monk says that he is a stallion. In reply to women’s taunts he boasts of his powers. A woman calls on the devil to come and ride him. Bolte Frey 253 No. 97.
J1363. J1363. Too late for the same advice. Impoverished spendthrift sarcastically to thrifty person: ”Stop spending so freely!“ ”It‘s too late to give you the same advice.“ Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1364. J1364. To be rewarded by his kind. Unworthy person is rewarded. Asks worthy one: ”Why is it that I am rewarded and you are not?“ Answer: ”Because you have found more of your kind that I have of mine.“ (Also told of Dante and a minstrel.) Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1369. J1369. Rude retorts – miscellaneous.
J1369.1. J1369.1. Man decides to spend 100 florins to become known. Friend: ”You had better spend 200 so as to not be found out.“ Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1369.2. J1369.2. The prodigy’s retort. An old man says of a youthful prodigy: ”He will be an idiot in old age because perfection before maturity brings on deterioration of the mind.“ Youth: ”You must have been very wise in your youth!“ Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1369.3. J1369.3. Two men meet in narrow passage. One says: ”I do not give every coxcomb the wall!“ The other says: ”I do, sir!“ England: Baughman.
J1369.4. J1369.4. Person asks: ”Whose fool are you?“ Answer: ”I am the Bishop of Durham‘s fool; whose fool are you?“ England: *Baughman.
J1369.5. J1369.5. Why soldier is silent before king: is always so when questioned by stupid person. India: Thompson-Balys.
J1370. J1370. Cynical retorts concerning honesty.
J1371. J1371. The account-book of mistakes. A king, hearing that a man keeps an account-book of people’s mistakes asks to see about his own record. He reads that the king has made a mistake in trusting a certain sum of money to a servant. King: ”How if he comes back with it?“ ”I shall cross off your name and put him down for making a mistake.“ *Wesselski Arlotto I 181 No. 5; Chauvin II 153 No. 20; Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1373. J1373. Safe since no white man is near. White man asks Indian if he can safely leave some of his belongings inside the Indian‘s lodge. The Indian assures him that he can: ”There is no white man within a hundred miles of here.“ (Cf. X600.) U.S.: Baughman.
J1380. J1380. Retorts concerning debts.
J1381. J1381. Where you got it last year. Parson tells borrower to get the corn at the same place as he got it last year. There is none there. ”Then you didn’t return it as you said you would, and there is none to lend you this year.“ *Wesselski Arlotto II 259 No. 186; Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1382. J1382. Payers of cash favored.
J1382.1. J1382.1. The one to blow the whistle. Many persons request a man on the way to market to buy them a whistle. Finally one hands him a coin with the request. ”You are the one who shall blow the whistle.“ *Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin I 246 No. 146.
J1382.2. J1382.2. The weighted order-cards. To a man going on a voyage, various people give commissions for purchases, which he writes down on cards. Some give him money; some promise it on his return. On ship he looks the cards over, placing the proper gold on the proper card. A wind blows into the sea those not weighted with gold. *Wesselski Arlotto II 234ff. No. 122.
J1383. J1383. Unstable security. Stag tries to borrow grain from the sheep, using the wolf as security. Sheep says that they are both so swift that he does not know where they will be on the day of payment. Wienert FFC LVI 54 (ET 144), 98 (ST 118).
J1384. J1384. A three thousand year old debt. Guests in inn discuss reincarnation. ”Since we shall come back in three thousand years, the host might trust us till then.“ Host: ”You still owe me what you didn‘t pay three thousand years ago.“ Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 858.
J1390. J1390. Retorts concerning thefts.
J1391. J1391. Thief makes a lame excuse. India: Thompson-Balys; Indonesian Coster-Wijsman Uilspiegel Verhalen 35ff. Nos. 17 – 22.
J1391.1. J1391.1. Thief’s excuse: the big wind. Vegetable thief is caught in a garden. Owner: How did you get into the garden? A wind blew me in. How were the vegetables uprooted? If the wind is strong enough to blow me in, it can uproot them. How did they get into your bag? That is what I was just wondering. *Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin I 207 No. 7, cf. II 214 No. 441.
J1391.2. J1391.2. The ladder market. A thief climbs over a wall by means of his ladder. When caught in the garden he says that he is a seller of ladders. Owner: ”Is this a ladder market?“ ”Can‘t one sell ladders everywhere?“ Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin I 210 No. 18.
J1391.3. J1391.3. The sheep’s teeth. Two thieves caught with stolen sheep. One says that he told the other than sheep have lower teeth but no upper, and that they caught the sheep to see. India: Thompson-Balys; Africa (Vai): Ellis 221 No. 34.
J1391.3.1. J1391.3.1. Bitten by the sheep. Man caught just as he knocks sheep in the head: The sheep bit me (or: I‘m not going to let sheep butt me to death). U.S.: *Baughman.
J1391.4. J1391.4. How he would act if he were a hawk. A hawk steals a piece of liver from a trickster and flies away with it. The trickster likewise steals some liver from another man and escapes to a high place with it. He says that he is seeing how he would act if he were a hawk. *Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin I 214 No. 41.
J1391.5. J1391.5. Fox pretends that he has been to the farmyard only to see if any of his kindred were there. India: Thompson-Balys.
J1391.6. J1391.6. Lame excuse: one cannot drink because he has no teeth. India: Thompson-Balys.
J1391.7. J1391.7. Were merely measuring cup. King demands that each subject bring small amount of milk to put in his new cup. They plan to cheat him by bringing him water. Accused, they say that they were merely measuring the cup to see how much it would take to fill it. India: Thompson-Balys.
J1391.8. J1391.8. Needles and anchors. Fox leaving merchant’s warehouse: ”I had wanted a needle as big as an anchor and an anchor as small as a needle.“ India: Thompson-Balys.
J1392. J1392. Owner assists thief.
J1392.1. J1392.1. Thief followed home. A thief ransacks a man‘s house and departs. The man gathers together the rest of his belongings and tracks the thief. Comes to the thief’s door. Thief: ”What do you want with me?“ ”What, isn‘t this the house we set out for?“ *Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin I 212 No. 32.
J1392.2. J1392.2. Robbers commiserated. A buffoon says to robbers in his house, ”You can’t find anything here in the dark, for I can find nothing in broad daylight.“ *Wesselski Bebel I 132 No. 32; Scala Celi 104b No. 567; Mensa Philosophica No. 62.
J1392.2.1. J1392.2.1. Owner advises thieves to return later. He is not yet in bed Spanish: Childers.
J1392.3. J1392.3. Cynic helps robber steal his money so he and robber can get sleep. Spanish Exempla: Keller.
J1392.4. J1392.4. Owner laughs at thief who finds nothing in house. India: Thompson-Balys.
J1392.5. J1392.5. Bridegroom promises thief spoils later if he will not interfere with wedding. India: Thompson-Balys.
J1393. J1393. The double fool. A numskull caught changing meal from others’ sacks into his own. Miller asks him what he is doing. ”I am a fool.“ ”Why then don‘t you put your meal into their sacks?“ ”I am only a simple fool. If I did that I should be a double fool.“ Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin II 181 No. 342.
J1394. J1394. Thieves’ nocturnal habits.
J1394.1. J1394.1. Night study. A thief having scorned Demosthenes for his constant study, the latter says, ”I know that you have not failed to notice that I study much at night.“ *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No 801.
J1394.2. J1394.2. Man who rises too early. The king in order to correct the habit has him robbed. He says that robbers get up even earlier than he. Chauvin II 196 No. 26.
J1395. J1395. Was going to give it to him any way. Thus a hunter answers a thief who steals his hare. Wienert FFC LVI 84 (ET 504), 125 (ST 337); Halm Aesop No. 163.
J1396. J1396. Removing chance for worry. A king noticing that a student has stolen a capon, asks, ”Does not the Bible say that you should not worry about tomorrow?“ ”Exactly. I was trying to remove all chance of worry tomorrow.“ Wesselski Mönchslatein 109 No. 92; Nouvelles Récréations No. 35.
J1397. J1397. The cost price recovered. A man takes a shirt to market for a friend who has stolen it. At market it is stolen from the seller. He tells his friend that the market was bad and that he was able to get back only the cost price (nothing). *Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin II 230 No. 491.
J1398. J1398. Compliments from the hangman. A man complimented a hangman on the good job he had done in hanging a thief. The hangman takes off his hat: ”One thief I hang, to the other I take off my hat.“ Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 591.
J1399. J1399. Retorts concerning thefts – miscellaneous.
J1399.1. J1399.1. The Lord has Risen. A parson hides his money in a holy place and leaves a sign, ”The Lord is in this Place.“ A thief takes the money and leaves a sign, ”He is risen and is no longer here“ Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 74.
J1400. J1400. Repartee concerning false reform.
J1401. J1401. The tailor‘s dream. A tailor dreams that at Judgment Day he sees a flag made up of all the pieces of cloth he has stolen Upon waking he asks his servants to warn him if they ever see him tempted to steal again. This happens. He replies, ”The piece I am about to steal does not fit into the flag.“ *BP I 343; *Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin I 256 No. 190.
J1410. J1410. Repartee concerning fatness.
J1411. J1411. The hay wagon and the gate. A parson arriving late at a city gate asks if he can get in. Guard sees that he is fat and in fun says that he doesn’t know. The parson: ”Why not; doesn‘t the hay wagon get in?“ *Wesselski Arlotto II 265 No. 209; Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1420. J1420. Animals retort concerning their dangers.
J1421. J1421. Peace among the animals. (Peace fable.) The fox tries to beguile the cock by reporting a new law establishing peace among the animals. Dogs appear; the fox flees. ”The dogs have not heard of the new law.“ *Type 62; *BP II 207; Wienert FFC LVI 52 (ET 120), 98 (ST 125); Halm Aesop No. 225; Jacobs Aesop 214 No. 59; *Chauvin II 202 No. 51, V 241 No. 141; *Lancaster PMLA XXII 33; *Graf FFC XXXVIII 26; Fb ”ræv“ III 114a. – Spanish: Espinosa III No. 225; India: Thompson-Balys.
J1422. J1422. Good bath. A cat seeing a mouse leave a bath says, ”Good bath!“ Mouse: ”If I had not seen you!“ Chauvin III 55 No. 11.
J1423. J1423. Roast falcon. A falcon reproaches a cock for fleeing from the master who has fed him. The cock: ”I have never seen a falcon roasted.“ *Chauvin II 117 No. 96.
J1424. J1424. Where the foxes will meet. Two foxes in a trap converse: ”Where shall we meet again?“ ”In three days at the furrier’s.“ Chauvin III 77 No. 51.
J1430. J1430. Repartee concerning doctors and patients.
J1431. J1431. I know not how. Sick man: ”I came to a place I know not where; something happened I know not how; I am sick I know not where.“ Doctor: ”Go to the pharmacy and buy I know not what, and eat it I know not how, and you will become well I know not when.“ *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 629; Scala Celi 47b No. 268.
J1432. J1432. No physician at all. A bad physician having predicted the immediate death of a patient meets him recovered. ”How go things down below?“ ”They put you at the head of the list of bad physicians, but I maintained that you were no physician at all.“ Wienert FFC LVI 39; Halm Aesop No. 168.
J1433. J1433. ”Do as I say and not as I do.“ Doctor forbids patient to drink wine. When patient reproves doctor for drinking wine the latter says: ”Just now it is bad for you and good for me.“ Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1434. J1434. Strenuous cure for madness. Doctor throws patients into a pit of water. Servant warns queer-looking hunter to flee before master throws him into the pit. (Cf. K2137.) Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1438. J1438. Veterinarian becomes doctor. When he killed animals he had to pay for them; but he did not have to pay for killing people. Spanish: Childers.
J1440. J1440. Repartee – miscellaneous.
J1441. J1441. God of the earth. Question from the king: ”Who are you?“ ”I am God.“ ”Make my eyes larger.“ ”I am only God of the earth and have power only below the girdle.“ *Köhler-Bolte I 504; *Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin I 279 No. 326.
J1442. J1442. A cynic‘s retorts.
J1442.1. J1442.1. The cynic wants sunlight. King (to cynic): ”What can I do for you?“ ”Get out of my sunlight. Don’t take away from me what you can‘t give me.“ Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 802; Spanish Exempla: Keller; Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1442.1.1. J1442.1.1. Cynic praises power of reason. Tells Alexander that the power of reason makes even a poor man as great as a king. Spanish Exempla: Keller.
J1442.2. J1442.2. The cynic at the bath. Leaving an unclean bath house: ”Where can I go now to wash?“ Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 802.
J1442.3. J1442.3. The cynic and the pale gold. ”Why is gold so pale?“ ”It is in great danger.“ Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 802.
J1442.4. J1442.4. The cynic’s burial. Asked who will carry him to his grave if he has no friends: ”He who needs my house.“ Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 802.
J1442.4.1. J1442.4.1. Cynic asks that his body be exposed to the elements. When told that the beasts and the birds will prey on him he says: ”Put a stick at my side so that I may chase them away.“ Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1442.5. J1442.5. The cynic as judge of wine. Asked which wine tastes best, he says, ”That belonging to other people.“ Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 802.
J1442.6. J1442.6. The cynic and the big gates. Coming to a little town with big gates, he says, ”Close the gate so that the town won‘t run away.“ Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 802.
J1442.7. J1442.7. The cynic and the bastard stone-thrower. Cynic: ”Be careful; you might hit your father.“ Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 802; Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1442.8. J1442.8. The cynic discusses heaven. Hearing a man discoursing at great length about heaven, he asks, ”When did you come down from there?“ Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 802.
J1442.9. J1442.9. The cynic and the bald-headed man. His only reply to the baldheaded man’s slanders is to compliment the hair that has left such a horrible head. Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 802.
J1442.10. J1442.10. The cynic and the deceiver. When the deceiver calls him wicked, he says, ”I am glad that you are my enemy; for you do good to your enemies and evil to your friends.“ Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 802.
J1442.11. J1442.11. The cynic and the fig tree. Man tells friend that his wife has hanged herself on a fig tree. Friend: ”Give me a shoot of that tree!“ Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1442.11.1. J1442.11.1. The cynic‘s wish. When he learns that a woman has hanged herself from a tree he explains: ”Would that all trees bore such fruit!“ Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1442.12. J1442.12. Cynic is asked if widower should remarry. ”One who has just escaped from drowning should not return to sea.“ Italian Novella: Rotunda.
J1442.13. J1442.13. The smallest woman makes the best bride. ”Of an evil choose the smallest part.“ Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1443. J1443. The fools in the city. Man ordered to number the fools in the city replies, ”It is easier to number the wise men.“ *Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin II 241 No. 535; Chauvin VII 126 No. 393bis.
J1444. J1444. They gave it away themselves. A wandering actor rewarded by a city with a coat of their color gambles it away. When upbraided about giving away their present he replies that they hadn’t wanted to keep it themselves. Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 396.
J1445. J1445. The forgotten traditions. A man has been told by a seer that there are two ways in which a believer may be distinguished. But he has forgotten one of them and the seer had forgotten the other. *Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin II 186 No. 353.
J1446. J1446. Aaron‘s censer. A man strikes a priest with a cane: ”This is Moses’ staff.“ The priest shoots with a pistol: ”This is Aaron‘s holy censer.“ Type 1847*.
J1447. J1447. The favored swine. Dog reproaches sow that Venus will not allow those who have eaten swine to enter her temple. Sow says that it is because the goddess abhors those who kill swine. Wienert FFC LVI 56 (ET 161), 107 (ST 191); Halm Aesop No. 408.
J1448. J1448. The contagious yawns. A husband planning to punish his wife, who has yawned in church at the same time as a man, sees his error when his wife in the woods calls out, ”The squirrels hop from bough to bough as the yawns from mouth to mouth.“ Finnish: Aarne FFC VIII 6 No. 23; XXXIII 52 No. 23; Estonian: Aarne FFC XXV 141 No. 12; Livonian: Loorits FFC LXVI 84 No. 35.
J1451. J1451. Who gets the beehive. Badger: ”I was a hundred years old when grama grass first grew.“ Crane: ”My daughter was a hundred years old when grama grass first grew.“ Wolf: ”I am only eight years old, but we shall see who gets the beehive.“ Spanish: Boggs FFC XC 31 No. *80, Espinosa III Nos. 268 – 270, Espinosa Jr. Nos. 26, 27.
J1452. J1452. Why he was thin. Philosopher explains that with his own blood he was nourishing as large a population as that of the Roman Emperor (lice). *Wesselski Bebel II 145 No. 140.
J1453. J1453. It’s better to fight in the shade. Soldier tells captain that the enemy are so numerous that their arrows darken the sun. Captain: ”Good, it will be more comfortable fighting in the shade.“ Italian Novella: *Rotunda.
J1454. J1454. The lion and the statue. A man points out the statue to show the supremacy of man. The lion: ”If it had been a lion sculptor, the lion would have been standing over the man.“ Wienert FFC LVI 70 (ET 343), 101 (ST 145); Halm Aesop No. 63; Jacobs Aesop 208 No. 35.
J1455. J1455. Has never died yet. Slave (workman) recommended to master whose recent slaves have died: ”He has never died while I owned him.“ *Clouston Book of Noodles 8; England, U.S.: Baughman.
J1456. J1456. The liar. A man attempts to lie out of having called another a liar: ”You lie if you say that I said you lied.“ The other: ”It‘s a good thing for you that you didn’t call me a liar.“ (Cf. J817.) *Wesselski Bebel I 204 No. 85.
J1457. J1457. The gray fox. An old husband tells his young wife, who is concerned about his gray hair, ”A gray fox is as good as a red one.“ ”But an old gray fox is not so good as a young red one.“ Bolte Frey 242 No. 75.
J1458. J1458. An oath to break oaths. Village called on to join in war deliberates in meeting. A man says, ”We have taken oaths not to go to war. We must now take an oath to break all the oaths we have taken.“ Wesselski Bebel I 205 No. 88.
J1461. J1461. The cause of grayness. Fool asked what made him gray-headed replies, ”My hair.“ *Wesselski Bebel I 228 No. 133.
J1462. J1462. Customary suits. Man who wears a red cap after his father‘s death says, ”I can grieve just as much in red as in black.“ *Wesselski Bebel I 125 No. 16.
J1463. J1463. A long beard and sanctity. Told that a forest dwarf with a long beard is a saint, a man replies: ”If a long beard indicates sanctity, the goat is a saint.“ *Wesselski Bebel I 129 No. 30.
J1465. J1465. Trumpeter’s false defense. A trumpeter captured pleads that he did not fight. Answered: ”You may not fight, but you encourage your men to do so.“ Jacobs Aesop 220 No. 79.
J1467. J1467. Must drink from the common cup. A man always drinks out of his own cup. In storm at sea a sailor says, ”Today we all drink out of the same cup (the sea). *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 247.
J1467.1. J1467.1. Sailor prays for gods to sink ship during storm, since gods never do what they are asked to do. Spanish: Childers.
J1468. J1468. Not in good form. A duke invites a notorious eater. The latter consumes eight fowls, forty eggs, and other things in proportion. In leaving he apologizes for eating so little as he had not felt well the night before. He will do better next time. *Pauli (ed. Bolte) No. 249; Nouvelles Récréations Nos. 57, 73.
J1471. J1471. The eunuch‘s defense. Reproached with his mutilation, the eunuch says that his ill fortune is no shame. The only shame is to merit what you suffer. Wienert FFC LVI 82 (ET 485), 149 (ST 546).
J1472. J1472. The fairest thing in the garden. Three brothers asked by princess what is the most beautiful thing in the garden. The youngest replies, “Yourself.” He wins the princess. Type 925*.
J1473. J1473. The greedy dreamer. He dreams that he receives nine coins. He demands ten. He wakes and finds that he has dreamed. He is willing to accept the nine. *Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin I 206 (No. 5); Spanish Exempla: Keller.
J1473.1. J1473.1. The 999 gold pieces. A man prays for a thousand gold pieces and says that he will not accept one less. A joker sends him 999. He says that he will trust God for the other coin. *Wesselski Hodscha Nasreddin I |