Elisheva Schoenfeld

INDEX TO DRUYAIW' S COLLECTION

 OF JOKES AND ANECDOTES

 

V

Vendor

V. of cracknels is robbed by soldiers. - 1650

V. of lottery tickets hurts the rabbi's feelings and is cursed with phrase from psalm (91; 7). - 3002

Venus

V. has money for a photograph but not fpr a shirt. - 987

Verandah

V. thought to be a woman's name. - 734

Villager(s)

V. comes to synagogue in town. Gets mixed up with prayers. ("What should I have said?"). - 1202

V. comes to synagogue in town on Ninth of Av with bag of phylacteries. Is reprimanded. - 1226

V. comes to synagogue in town and uses phylacteries. Is reminded that those are R. Tam's. "Until he comes I shall be finished." - 1200

V. does not know how to count sacks of potatoes. - 1366

V. informed of his father's death by letter read to him. However he is anxious to know whether father has enough to live on. - 1250

V. lies on his back in synagogue on Rosh Hashana. ("What should I have done?"). - 1208

V. loses his money on rotten squash. Asks icon whether it also had its squash rotten. - 2037

V. miscounts days of week. Arrives in town on Sabbat. - 1249

V. sells his horse for 5 kopecks together with cock priced 50 rubles. - 995

V.'s horse stolen by thief claiming to have been transformed into horse. - 1346

V.'s son being a bar-mitsvah in town is called up to the Torah. Says the wrong blessing. - 1203

Gentile v. relies on Jewish shopkeeper in exchanging his barrel. - 1318

Villagers' delegation is shown radio station in Moscow as "an open window to the world." One shouts into it: "He1p!" - 2838

Vindication

V. of the Jewish people by R. Levy Yitschak before God on Yom Kippur. - 2049

Violin

"Do you play the v.?" - "Never tried, but perhaps I know." - 952

Virgin (See also: "Bride", "Maiden", "Matchffiaker")

"No v. to be had," claims matchmaker. - 1479

A v. shall become his third wife. If she had children they wouldn't dare to come to his house. - 1623

The v. he has married is not a v. - 1815

The "v." he has married is not a v. Blames his friend who thanks him for the circular. - 3030

V. observed by future husband while bathing. - 1520

Jewish v. demanded by duke for his pleasure. He cannot stand her odor. - 955

Young v. married by old widower who "loves himself." - 702

Visit

V. of governor of Vilna. The synagogue and yard are cleaned up. - 2841

Visiting card

V.c. of Trotski serves smoker in compartment of train where smoking is prohibited. - 2810

Völkischer Beobachter.

"V.B.", the Nazi newspaper has encouraging news for Jews: "Jews have all the money, their influence is felt everywhere, they are the rulers everywhere..." – 3061