Elisheva Schoenfeld

INDEX TO DRUYAIW' S COLLECTION

 OF JOKES AND ANECDOTES

 

S

Sabbath

Absurd sanctification of S. - 1766

Gentile servant for S. offered brandy as hint for having candle lighted on S. - 2055

Gentile servant for S. unnecessary as Friedländer extinguishes the candles himself - 1764

Sack

S. to lie on offered to guest by poor host after housewife's curse: "One dead feeds another." - 296

Lenin enters paradise in s. of old Jew. Throwing the s. to Karl Marx Jew cries: "Here is the interest on your Capital!" - 2807

Sage(s)

Were the ancients really all s. as they are called today? - 1853

Sacrifice(s)

"A s. should be made by the rich and not by the poor," says well-known rabhi who had promised a rich dowry for his daughter but did not keep the promise on the appointed day. - 1503 

"On the eve of Passover when many s. are to be made a mere "Thank you" is in adequate" says author to rich man giving him his book on eve of Passover. - 578

Sailor(s)

S. are to bury in sea person who has died of con­tagious disease. Enter the wrong cabin and bury live person instead. - 1979

Saints

S. must forgive Jew before his baptism, and Jew must be whipped one stroke for each one of them. Complains about the huge family and leaves. - 1393

Salary

"S. although small, is income for all your posterity until the coming of the Messias," says rich man to fool appointed to fictitious office. - 1836

S. asked for by Yossi who never prays in a low voice. He receives s. only for praying aloud. - 511

S. of labourer and s. of employer. The one works with his hands, the other with his head. Why is latter's s. higher? - 152

S. reduced by the price of trousers which had been stolen by employee. - 173

Employee asks for a raise in s. Employer's reason for not complying. - 160

Miscalculation of s., apparently logical but far from reality. - 151

Sale

S. of couple as slaves. - 100

S. of Joseph. - 975

Salesman

S. offers sandpaper instead of toilet paper which is not in stock. - 37

Job of s. preferred by father to that of postman. - 3134

Travelling s. and his account book of follies. - 172

Travelling s. makes a lengthy show of his wares but customer finally does not need anything. - 171

Travelling s. receives telegram about birth of twins. Customer: "You now know how it feels when delivered more than ordered." - l69

Travelling s. told by employer to sell the goods at any price. Continues to reduce until s. drops dead. - 168

Travelling s. tries hard in convincing customer to buy wine. - 170

Sand

S. is used in blotting the ink written signature on the promissory note. "Whatever is covered by s. will be forgotten by the heart." - 81

Jews are burying Jews in the s. as against Moses who buried the Egyptian in the s. - 2662

Rothschild is building on s. whereas everyone else is doing so on firm soil. - 2596

Sandals (see also: "Shoes", "Shoemaker", "Cobbler(s))

S. must not be worn by the cohen on Yam Kippur. Reason given by Eisik Meir. - 1361

"My s. – your s." Teacher writes to his wife asking: for s. ­- 2198

Sauerkraut

S. the remedy for a cobbler but not for a tailor. - 905

Sausage Vendor

S.V. infront of bank asked by fellow Jew for a loan. Refuses since he does not interfere with the business of the bank. - 63

Scalpels (see also: "Circumcision"," Circumciser")

Ancient s. are shown by Prof. Schatz to guest from abroad. Among then a tiny hatchet. "That's for the converts!" 3110

Schalet

Man eats 2 portions of s. for the ascent of father's soul. - 1265

Scholar(s)

S. buries his three wives. When in Heaven asks for his shrewish first wife as companion: "The longer she has been in the earth the better she has become." - 1587

S. complains about the many people who visit him and interrupt his learning. R. Landa's advice. - 65

S. drinks tea with his own sugar. On leaving his host empties the sugar bowl into his pocket as provision for the next host. - 262

A s. who is a drunkard in spite of what is written in the Tora justifies himself. - 847

S. eats greedily and drinks excessively on his 40th birthday. Upon a rebuke justifies his deed. - 833

S. and father-in-law come to blows over sustenance of young couple - 1718

S. has intimate relations with married woman. On rabbi's reproach he justifies himself.- 3040

S. is praised by maskil: "A hassid among hassidim, a maskil among maskilim." Zweifel corrects:" A male among females". - ­3148

S. prefers his books to his young wife. She: "1 wished I were a book." S. prefers almanc. - 1670

S. spends some years in Africa and has close relations with black girl. "Zulu is also good" (pun) - 3037

S. tries in vain to get pupils since he is a drunkard. Wants to teach as to be able to drink. - 848

S., writer and musician. If scholars didn't know he was a s., writers he was a writer, and musicians he was a musician nobody would know he is a fool. - 1130

The s. whose yarmulka dropped from his head while asleep reasons with himself where it could be. - 2197

A great s. with a dirty collar. - 2855

Famous s. asked why he bows before rich ignoramus answers: "Man, the most important creature has been sentenced to bow to the animal (cow, goat) when milking it." - 233

Lithuanian s. calls rabbi with title of doctor "ignoramus" since the gemarah proves him to be such. - 460

Rich s. possesses shelves stuffed with books. Son throws books out and has full bookshelves painted on the wall. - 479

Scholars early and present. - 691

S. visit potential rabbi for a discussion on legal affairs. Realize his ignorance. - 445

Three s. are horses (fools). Three advices on how to deal with them. - 137

Scratching (see also: "lice")

S. his back in Warsaw in public provincial father is rebuked by urban son. "If something bites me in Warsaw I can't go to Mazefka for scratching." - l709

S. his back on house wall draws attention of house owner who provides the poor man with clean clothing. On comes a whole company of men who scratch their backs on same wall. - 307

s. one's bedfellow's posterior instead of one's own. - 2975

S. oneself is one's only pleasure in life. - 2868

S. oneself because of a louse and not because of a flea. - 2861

While s. a whole line of a book with a pen knife the teacher is surprised by the author who does not want to be scratched either. - 1243

Scribe

S. is afraid to write the letter "peh" from top to bottom. - 564

S. employed by wealthy man does not get payment. - 563

S. of holy scripts praises his own writing of phylacteries. - 565

Sea

Why is the s. salty? Because it is inhabited by salt herring. - 2127

Secret

S. of the hassidic rabbi: How to reveal the "lamed" (letter "L") in the word "metsaftsefim" (whistling). - 652

The big s. of the mystic: Adam became very old since he had no mother-in-law. - 1728

Secretary

S. of banker complains about employer. Writes a letter of abuses but does not send it. - 162

S. of banker is late for work and is severely rebuked by employer. "Knowing to be a rich banker, it's easy for you to get up early." - 156

S. of banker makes mistakes after being baptized. Employer: "A gentile since 24 hours and an ass already!" - 1404

Selection Commission (in Bolshevic Russia)

Jew is asked by s.c. about his attitude towards the government. - 2837

Jew is asked by s.c. what he would do with his last rubl and his last shirt. - 2836

Selling

S. the place in Heaven is regarded by rabbi as a deception since student had received two cracknels for nothing.- 1821

S. wine before sunrise as good omen. Partners of wine barrel sell the wine to each other. - 861

Serenade

S., what does it mean? (Pun on the pronunciation of "sh" by Lithuanian Jews.) - 2961

Sermon (see also: "Preacher", "Rabbi as Preacher")

S. no need to be given. Hersheli recommends those who know may teach those who don't know. - 2149

S. held by rabbi: "The fool who is aware of being a fool is not a fool at all." - 1148

S. of rabbi claimed to be plagiarized. - 1216

S. of R. Velveli about the bridge of paper and that of iron. Modke warns Opatow the dignitary. - 2171

Fragment of s.: Heretics confronted with cock and goat. - 474

Fragment of s.: Israel are likened to horses. - 473

Fragment of s.: "Man is like a Polish tailor..." - 471

Fragment of s.: A parable on the rebellious son. - 472

Fragment of s.: A parable on the unruly woman who died and was buried but thrown up by the earth. - 475

Funeral s. is not moving, no tears are shed. - 489

Funeral s.: Pun by Bialik on print, loss and funeral s. - 587

Funeral s.: Pun by Zunz on funeral s., dance and print. - 586

Funeral s. for rabbi cannot be held by preacher since the latter's wife has died. - 490

Funeral s. for rich man: "Blessed be they coming to the next world, and blessed thy going from this world." - 488

Servant

S. of rich man is to foresee the possible event. When employer is sick servant brings the doctor as well as the undertaker. - 176

Sexual relationship (see also: "Husband(s), "Wife(ves)", "Maid(s)", "Maiden(s)")

S.r. before and after wedding compared to moon's waning and waxing regardless of blessing. - 1806

Illicit s.r. revealed and punished by community. - 1790

Shavuoth

Home of grammarian Ben-Zeev is decorated for S. one year but not the next when he had ceased to observe the rites. - 2183

Why do we eat dairy products on S.? Two "reasons" given. - 1854

Sheep

S. are talked to by Trotzki when he rests on the river bank. - 2811

Ship

S. has been wrecked. Though they cannot swim, two Jews have been the only survivors. They had kept on talking to each other. - 2942

S. in danger to be wrecked. One man prays while his companion exclaims: "Why do you pray for the safety of a ship which does not belong to you!" - 765

Shipping Company

S.c. on the River Dnjepr underbid each other. Finally take passengers without charge, - 763

Shirt(s)

S. worn inside out by absent-minded R. Joseph. - 380

Shirts, old-fashioned sent to provinces by wholesaler, five for the price of four. - 23

Shoes (see also: "Shoemaker")

S. and barrel of poor man. Water enters through the whales of the one and leaves through the whales of the other. - 201

S. and clothes did not wear out in the desert. - 130

S. for the left foot and s. for the right are to be bought separately in Soviet Russia. - 2832

S. left outside near the entrance are in the cohen's mind when he stands on the pulpit. - 1360

S. are too small and hurt. Ken doesn't change them since the only pleasure in life is when he takes them off in the evening. - 2983

S. revealing status. Modke advises merchant to put on s. of a scholar and rabbi to put on s. of merchant at the wedding of their children. - 1506

S. as subject of riddle in train. - 1140

S. are worn by father for one year. As soon as they are passed on to son they are torn. - 2870

Shoemaker (See also: "Shoes")

S. buys leather on credit from gentile tanner. Leaves phylac­teries as security. - 2042

S. gives shoes to client who pays fraction of the price and promises to soon pay rest. Is given two left shoes as security. - 129

S. sick with typhoid asks for sauerkraut as last meal and recovers. Same remedy has no effect on tailor with typhoid. Latter dies. - 905

Shofar

S. stolen from synagogue. Judge unfamiliar with its impor­tance specifies it as trumpet. - 2058

Shopkeeper(s)

S. has become bankrupt. "If he had not opened his shop on Sabbat he would have become bankrupt two years later." - 113

S. converts to Christinity following his brother, the lawyer. - 1412

S. and customer "do not haggle" over price of suit. - 29

S. of delicatessen has neither ducks nor geese. - 3136

S. hastens to open his shop in the evening after Sabbat. - 28

S. leaves her husband in the shop. He reads while Cossacks are stealing the goods. - 2093

S. lengthily rests on last word of confession of faith (echod). 32

S. of newly opened shop of foodstuff and shrouds has no customers. Reason: people are neither living nor dying. - 22

S. offers sweater. Customer calculates the price he intends to pay in his mind. - 31

S. has failed to pay his debts. Demands to see the licence of lawyer coming for collecting payment for client. - 3133

S. of second-hand wares has for sale sign-board advertising silk dresses. - 27

S. sells to boy suit which shrinks after washing to half its size. - 33

S. sells bad smelling cigar to customer. - 34

S. of village reports to father on progress of village: First Pravos1avic church was built, then synagogue. - 21

S. is willing to sign promissory notes for gentile wholesaler with the remark that the sum is to be paid upon the arrival of the Messias. - 89

Shopkeeper's fastidious daughter only wants to marry a doctor, Father suggests that she first marry a male nurse and a doctor later. - 1511

Shopkeeper's son sells suit for too high a price. Could not make out the instructions his father had left him. - 30

Poor s. supports all of his illustrious sons. - 1694

Provincial s. in city for buying goods. Signs promissory note and cries: "I shan't see the wholesaler again!" - 82

Provincial s. prefers taking scarf to the return of his signed promissory note as present from wholesaler. - 85

Provincial s. steals a dozen scarves while wholesaler is praying mincha. Next day, the wholesaler puts them to the shopkeeper's account. - 1359

Provincial s. wonders how huge the amount of debts of a city ware-house owner must be. - 25

Thieving s. with long fringes. ("Do not trust the overholy"). - 1354

Truthful s. explains to peasant bringing a broken barrel for the exchange of a new one: "Both barrels are lighter when dried out than wet ones." - 1318

Two shopkeepers fight for every customer. Try to make peace on Yom Kippur but fail. - l896.

Shot(s)

Arab s. at legal advisor of the Palestinian government in 1930. - 2674

Bus is s. at in the troubles of 1936. Passenger urges driver to increase speed and a woman complains in Yiddish: "We are s. at and they speak Hebrew!" - 2651.

Shots in the air of the British soldiers disturb birds in 1936. Latter complain to the High Commissioner about it. ­2680

Shrouds

"S. are easier on man than matsah." (Rakower). - 2160

"Shulhan Arukh"

S.A. organizes the life of a Jew. - 2054

Sick

S. Adam Hacohen contemplates Angel of Death and his blows, but concludes that nothing actually ever happens after death. - 1827

S. Asher Brodes cries on eve of Yom Kippur:" I'm afraid I die today and shall be found fasting tomorrow!" - 1749

S. man prescribed to eat meat of unclean animal. Demands animal to be slaughtered as if clean. - 1429

S. man though shaven is religious. Is warned that if he died without a beard he'll be in trouble at the Heavenly court. - 1787

S. old man listens to the whispers of son-in-law: "Man must bless the good as well as the evil," and "Many drank and many will drink." - 1723

S. rabbi of heretics calls rabbi for confession, thereby contradicting "Evil doers do not return to God even on threshold of Hell." - 1869

S. at sea, person on the upper berth soils the one below. - 764

S. Shmeril invites ten men to his home and confesses his "sins". - 1797

Zaddik's span of life readjusted by community donating years. - 690

Zaddik's span of life readjusted by disciples donating years. -: 1635

Sigh

The Jewish s. - 938

Sign language

Discussion in s.l. between bishop and Jewish smith - 2028

Signals

S. of one driver misunderstood by another. - 2943

Signature

Rothschi1d's s. on cheque is abso1utely necessary. - 58

Silent

Hersheli will keep s. as long as he does not know the language of the Kaiser of Austria. - 2l48

Sin(s)

S. is a cause for pleasure, whether one enjoys it or not. - ­1831

S. of Jews against Christ can never be expiated. - 2013­

The joint s. of Abeli and a gentile woman. On Rosh Hashanah, both go for the ceremony of tashlikh. - 1808

The only s. of Tel-Aviv citizens on Sabbat: mixing Arak with water. - 2616

His sins cost him a lot of money. Therefore, he does not throw them into the water by participating in the ceremony of tashlikh. - 1809

Sinner(s)

S. eating unclean food noticed by fanatics. "How can you eat that stuff?!" He shows them. - 1738

S. usually eating unclean food is seen coming out from kosher restaurant. - 1740

S. eating unclean food is rebuked by fanatics. - 1737

Two sinners. One of them is sentenced to abstain from smoking for one year, the other from his wife. Wife of latter reminds him of his duty to her after three months. - 1606

Sinning

S. unmarried couple regarded as cause for drought. - 1790

­Sisters

Three s. married one after the other by the same man. - 1616

Slapping

Man. s. someone calls out: "Police!" - 1907

Slaughter (see also: "Slaughterer")

The British general only permitted the s. of 10 horses on Sabbat eve. - 2668

Fool investigates whether to s. animal first and then examine it or vice versa. - 1087

With his study of s. finished; man applies far licence of slaughterer. Rabbi is reluctant to do so. - 493

Slaughterer

S. also becomes watchmaker. Comic results. - 495

S. dismissed from office by rabbi because of a transgression against the law. - 495

S. invites rabbi to share his meal. Rabbi refuses on the ground that he uses his own knife for slaughtering. - 400

S. reads letter to ignorant peasant. Latter ignores the message on death of father. - 1250

"The s. who uses a sharpened and pointed knife for slaughtering provides a clean meat." Reply to fanatics who object to the education of newly opened school. (Pun). - 2381

S. wants to hand in his resignation as the laws of slaughtering in "Sefer Hakaneh" prove too much for him. - 494.

"Where there is a clever s. the rabbi must not be an ass." - 497

Sleeping

S. on a bench preferred by Hersheli to s. in bed. Has found that one feather makes a hard pillow and believes a whole pillow full of them would be unbearable. - 2145

S. on either side of body claimed to be unhealthy by opponents to Zionism. - 2604

"S. is an expression of opinion", claims critic who had fallen asleep during writer's reading of his work. - 3108

Slot-Machine

"Antisemitic" s. does not return a too small coin for bus-ticket. - 1948

Smell

S. guides old and blind Yeshaya to the synagogue in the morning. - 2182

S. of Hersheli's underpants as a remedy against loss of child during pregnancy. - 2133

Smith

S. saves Jewish community. Discussion in sign language with bishop. - 2028

Ignorant s. wishes to know preparations for Passover and observes his neighbor for that purpose. At that moment, neighbor is beating his wife. - 1217 (958) (1229)

Smithereens

S. of the broken tablets at Mount Sinai determined the fate of the rich and the poor. - 232

Smoke

S. of Berlin "bought" by Jew. - 1995

Smoking

"S. and eating should be observed on Yom Kippur." (Jester's explanation of Sabbat, the days of rest.) - 1773

S. on Sabbat. Brodes has nobody to replace him in s. as against the waiter of Jewish restaurant who could have engaged a gentile to cut the candles. - 1763

S. on Sabbat. Heretic is s. two cigarettes at once. - l760

S. on Sabbat. Heretic asks rabbi whether he may be s. Rabbi recommends gentile to replace him. - 2382

S. on Sabbat. Heretic has forgotten he is a Jew. - l761

S. on Sabbat. Man declares Hell to be open and therefore it must be a weekday. - 1565

S. on Sabbat. Man pretends to do it in toilet. "I cheat my posterior." - 2844

S. in restaurant. Man is anxious to know the name of the stranger sitting opposite. The trousers of the latter had caught fire. - 3118

S. is supposed to be unhealthy. - 1069

Man s. just before Sabbat's end is rebuked. Retorts: "The gentile just said 'Good evening' to me." - 1772

Man s. on Sabbat is arrested by rabbi: "Don't you know that it is Sabbat?" The man does not deny it. - 1770

Man s. on Sabbat had asked the rabbi whether he may do so. The latter had forbidden it. - 1767

Man s. on Sabbat is only doing what he is used to do. - l768

Man s. on Sabbat turns the holyday into a weekday. - 1769

"No s. and no spitting" - sign in compartment of streetcar. Jew ignores both. - 1007

While s. maskillim are reminded by orthodox Jew that it is Sabbat. They are sorry for not having closed the shutters.- 1762

Smuggler(s)

S, of tea is caught by border police. Claims tea to be dog food. - 993

Smugglers and religious people inhabited the border town. In the course of time, both categories disappeared. - 3157

Socialists

S. visit Rabbi Rabinowits of Minsk and ask for his help. - 261

Soldier(s) (see also: "Officer(s)", "Recruit(s)")

S. in battle is frightened and forgets the calor of blood. - 2735

S. running away from battle field draws company with him. - 2738

S. running away from battle field reprimanded by company commander. - 2739

Dying Jewish s. objects to the efforts of a priest in converting him. - 2009

Jewish Russian .s. and Jewish Austrian s. exchange flags in World War I in Galicia. - 2742

Jewish s. asks for the place of captivity. - 2732

Jewish s. having distinguished himself in battle is to be awarded Georgian Cross or money. - 2741

Jewish s. enraged when a grenade explodes nearby. - 2734

Jewish s.' on guard does not salute officer near latrine. - 2722

Jewish s. wears shield on back. He had foreseen the retreat. - 2737

Jewish s. on his return home: "I have never seen a German soldier since there was no time to turn around" - 2740

Jewish s. does not run away when the shooting starts. - 2731

Jewish s. would never shoot at the Zar since he is a drummer. - 2744

Jewish s. on guard by cannon quits since nobody can move it. - 2720

Jewish s. takes Jewish captives by pretending to need a quorum for Jahrzeit. – 2743

Jewish s. wants to be in the captivity of the Germans. - 2733

Old s. in house of learning reads about David and Bath-Sheba. - 1193

German soldiers stand near Warsaw. - 2764

Russian s. on the retreat. - 2768

Son(s) (see also: "Father(s)", "Mother(s)", "Matchmaker(s)")

S. of banker spends money on account of poor man supported by banker. - 271

S. born to old man. - 707

S. of Censor Tugendhold does not see any academic future as a Jew. - 1436

S. claims to be more decent than his father. - 1712

S. had converted to Christianity. Father wonders about the justification before the Heavenly Court. - 2011

S. converted to Christianity urged by Jewish mother to go to church. - 954

S. of hassidic rabbi compared to the daughters of Lot. - 634

S. of horse-dealer invited by parents of potential bride. - 3022

S. was invited by authorities to sit (in prison). - 1374

S. of miser knows his father to be dead when, at his funeral, he does not run away from the collecting boxes. - 326

S. of R. Levin has lost his fortune. - 1505

S. of religious parents returns to the small town for a visit. - 1679

S. surpasses father in giving alms. - 327

S. says "Kaddish" after father but not after mother. - 1689

S. of thief knows to steal though his father had not taught him. - 1335

S. threatening father: "If you do not give me money, I shall put on phylacteries on Sabbat." - 1703

S. wants to be woken for "Slichot". Never gets up. - 1682

S. of zaddik has abandoned tradition of fathers. - 3018

Foolish s. of R. Widerwits is called "bastard". Complains to father. - 1526

Her s. fell from the priest's ladder. Doctor: "A Jewish boy does not fall from a priest's ladder." - 893

Heretic s. does not have a tombstone erected for father. - 1690

Learned s. of rich man explains Kopernikus' theory to guests of banquet. Poor ruan: "That must be wrong since the dough­nuts do not roll to my place." - 291

Little s. of Berger the writer imitates the bleating of sheep. Berger:" The little one will become a great critic. - 581

Modern s. to suspicious father returning from house of learning "I said the (appropriate) prayer." As proof points to the spittle on the floor. - 1680

The rebellious s. At six he falls from a ladder and breaks an arm; at nine from a tree and loses his leg; at 21 he is taken to the army. (Parable) - 472

Sons of Jacob. - 3072

Two s. of a tailor. One becomes tailor, the other rabbi. When the tailor visits his brother they exchange roles. Comic results. - 1259

Son-in-law

S. claims alimentation for two years. - 1716

S. shall be fed at the wife's father as long as he does not shave himself. - 1717

The learned s. of taxcollector declares pie to be kosher though it had been stuffed with meat and prepared in a milky pot. - l242

Pious s. never mentions worldly matters on Sabbat. Horse still more pious: It never does so on weekdays either. ­1875

Sorrow

"After s. comes peace of mind, after riches and pride, the end. - 224

Sounds

S. of contrasts. - 2949

Span of life

Span of life readjusted. - 517, 690, 1635

Speaker

S. of the "Bund" shows proletaric audience what capitalists are doing to them, and how they glutton on rasberry and cream. - 3164

Spendthrift

S. has built a house with huge hall. Father remarks: "Unfortunately this hall has room for a hundred guests. - 358

S. has spent 50 rubles and 200 kisses on former betrothed. - 3025

S. spends father's money as well as his wife's. - 12

Spittle

S. frozen in mid-air. - 1287

Spittoon

S. left unused by rich man's visitor spitting on the floor. - 988

Spoon(s) (see also: "fhief(ves)", "Doctor(s)")

Hereheli has no s. and therefore doesn't eat. R. Barukh tells him to clear his throat whenever he should need something. - 2131

Spoons with handle one meter long for dinner guests in hell. - 1884

Squash

The s. has become rotten and stinking and therefore unsaleable. - 2037

The s. was stolen. "Now you appreciate my keeping guard if I had done so." - 1905

Staatsrat

The s., a converted Jew, has difficulties in marrying off his daughter to a gentile. - 1416

Stench

S. will avoid the dead heretic being thrown away like a dog. - 1880

S. of goats, who can stand it? Contest of Englishman, French­man and Jew. - 2851

S. of shirt made of father's pants disturbs pupil. - 2886

The goat will have to get used to the s. of the house. - 2852

Stepmother

S. is the curse of the little ones. - 1713

Stick, walking s.

S. shoots with God's help. - 2747

S. will tell him what he will do in Erets Israel. - 2607

Adam Hacohen walks with his s. on Sabbat. - l823

Stockbrokers

S. count their fingers after parting each from the other. - 8

Stock-exchange

The London s. crashed on Yom Kippur when the Jews were in the synagogues. - 2070

Stomach

S. trouble causes a man to rent a carriage and ride to the nearest toilet. - 18

Stone

S. for resting on road causes dreams of riches. - 1904

Stove

S. is hit by foolish philosopher in dark room. Comic specu­lation. - 2085

A s. which is all Ruben. Man seeks to warm hands on s. in dark room. Meets hands of "Ruben which move with his own. - ­981

Strength

S. and weakness of the new God (of the Christians). - 1387

Strike

The first s. breaker was Moses when he accepted the Tora, while the nations kept striking, refusing the Tora. - I859

Striking

Man s. his friend so as to avert danger of being beaten up by group of Nazi hooligans. - 1996

Man s. his friend's posterior in hazy bath house has taken it for his son's. - 3140 (3005)

Student(s)

S. advised by R. Frankl-Te'umim to study the fifth part of "Shulchan Arukh". - 415

S. eulogizes Dr. Zelnow in Hassidic house of learning. Old Hassid leaves the place in anger. - 2592

S. on first meeting his very fat bride: "Is she all mine?!" - 3021

S. rapes old virgin, daughter of his landlord and must marry her. - 3029

S. of seminary for rabbis sells his place in Heaven for two cracknels. - 1821

Jewish s. in Poland writes "Jewish" in questionnaire pertaining to census. His family is of various nationalities and dis­persed all over Europe. - 2078

Poor s. courts rich renegade's daughter. - 1415

Unobservant s. Doctor shows urine examination by putting one finger into the pot and another into his mouth. S. puts one finger into both. - 907

Students ask intelligent looking man for helping them to solve a problem in their study of the Talmud. He cannot read small letters. - 1260

S. of R. Kovacs deplore his miserly wife Rachel. - 353

"All my s. are knowledgeable and will serve as rabbi," are R. Berlin's ironic words. - 441

Two high school s., a boy and a girl, leave their classmates walking on the sea shore of Tel-Aviv. - 2637

Zionist s. do not remember when and where Jews took revenge on gentiles. - 1268

Stutterer(s)

S. compared to Moses. - 521

S. asked how he got the impediment says: "When I was called up to the army I cut two fingers of my hand." - 2946

Moses was a s. If he weren't he would have added another 613 laws. - 1860

Old s. has buried four wives. He wants to marry again as he believes his angel to be a s. like himself. - 703

Styles

S. of furniture in new house of rich renegade. - 1445

Suffering

The s. of man has two origins: His own troubles and the others' luck. - 188?

Sugar factory

The s.f. of Brodetski is to be connected with railway net. Minister of Interior is promised big bribe. - 1956

Suit

S. against God. - 429

S. brought by doctor against man who has built a new house without toilet. - 2845

S. brought by Hassid against "old fool". - 669

S. over pot. Plaintiff claims that borrower has returned the pot broken. - 2236

Suitcase

S. offered to man who neither travels nor has anything to put into it. - 1003

Sun

S. controlled by Joshua who ordered it to stand still. Since then it does so. - 2124

S. thought to be unnecessary as against moon which illuminates the night. - 2144

Suspenders

S. are too expensive. For that money client can hire a Yemenite holding his pants the year round. - 2623

Sweat

Tailor attendant earns his living by the s. of his brow. - 153

Beggar has eaten his food all his life by the s. of his brow. - 285

Swindler

S. admits the rabbi's charges against him. - 3147

Symbols

S. of Evil's memory. Jew hears Hitler's speech and ponders about the dish that would be eaten in his memory. (Pharaomatsah;  Haman – ears). - 1994

Symptoms

The s. of disease. - 939

Synagogue(s)

S. in Frankfurt was designed for 1000 worshippers. However, a mere 100 go into it. - 1867

S. as place for a heated dispute. - 3117

Small s. of village in cemetery. S. just for the ten villagers, cemetery for guests. - 2230

Small s. in town. "If the whole community would come not all go into it. Since the whole community does not come all of them go into it." - 2229

Synagogues and houses of learning have no bell. - 1861

S. of Landsmannschaften in America but no Jewish one. - 3098