Elisheva Schoenfeld

INDEX TO DRUYAIW' S COLLECTION

 OF JOKES AND ANECDOTES

 

E

Earth

E. and sky separated by Creator. - 2013

E. and sun. - 2124

E. turns round its axle. - 291

Eating (see also: "Restaurant", "Heretic(s)")

E. cracknels without first washing hands. - 1731

E. without first blessing the food. - 1732

E. on Fast of Esther. - 1750

E. on Fast of Gedalya. - 1744

E. on Fast of Seventeenth of Tammuz. - 1751

E. forbidden food. - 1737, 1738, 1740

E. meat prepared in milk or butter. - 1735

E. on Ni nth of Av "for the benefit of a dowry for an orphan." - 1752

E. on Ninth of Av "since the calendar was wrong." -1754

E. on Ninth of Av "since there is no paradise at all." - 1753

E. on Ninth of Av permitted to women. - 1757

E. unclean food on Yom Kippur. - 1745, 1748

E. on Yom Kippur. - 1746, 1747

Manners of e. and talking of Jews and gentiles. - 2048, 3071

While e. out of one bowl, one puts in pepper the other tobacco. - 827

While e. out of one bowl, one puts a great deal of salt into it. (pun) - 828

While e. out of one bowl, one talks the other one eats. - 826

Eggs

How many e. can one eat on an empty stomach? - 2700

Election

E. of leaders of community compared to manufacture of paper. - 374

Fraudulent e, of warden of undertaker's committee. - 373

Elevator

E. of skyscraper is out-of-order. - 3168

Emigrant(s)

E. sells his watch to sailor during storm. - 48

E. in view of New York sky-scrapers: "No wonder, Columbus found America." -767

Employee(s) (see also: "Banker(s)", "Merchant(s)", "Wholesaler(s)")

E. asks for a raise in salary. - 160

E. claims salary for one year. Employer's (deceptive) calculation shows that e. has not worked at all. - 151

E. has no intention of becoming independent after twenty years of service. -167

E. rebuked by banker for his coming late for work. - 156

E. of wholesaler is a liar but not a thief. - 1367

Boastful e. - 162

Englishmen

E. do not keep their promises. - 2683

Enlightened. - see "Maskil(im)"

Entrance

E. forbidden to offices of secret police. - 2818

Evil

E. impulse and good impulse. The one advices Hersheli to steal a silver spoon from R. Barukh, and the other strongly objects. - 648

E. spirits have four fathers: Esau, Bileam, Laban and Ahaverus. (Pun with phrases from Mishna and Bible.) - 632

Exaggerations and Lies

Beggar has begged in high apartment house for 18 months and never reached the top. - 2706

Bileam's sword exhibited in museum. - 1300

Cain's axe and Jacob's ladder exhibited in museum. - 1299

Cow is flying over the roof. - 1281

The cheap fish and the cheap barrel of wine. - 1296

Food is cheap in Odessa. - 1296

Frozen words are seen in the air. - 1287

The great earrings. - 1280

The great fish. - 1298

The great turkey. Its half lays eggs and hatches them. - 1275

He surely saw one hundred (ninety-nine) wolves. – 1282, 1283

The high apartment house. Man enters on Purim and reaches friends' apartment on seder night. - 1292

The high mountain. Hungry geese lick the stars. - 1289

The high tree and the great apples. - 1276

"l have never lied." - 1305

Istanbul built on two huge balloons is swimming in the sea. - 2103

It is not the cantor who annually receives ten thousand rubles but it is the timber merchant who annually loses that amount. - 1303

Liar comes to believe his own lie. - 1281

Liar reduces the size of his own lie. - 1297

Loaves of white bread as big as heads and hot from the oven are sold for half the price in the next town. - 2044

Magnetic stone pulls man up. - 1301

Man and Dardanelles stay in the same hotel. - 1295

Man says he is personally acquainted with Beaconsfields, Bismarck and Rothschild of Frankfurt. - 1302

Man frozen in water catches fish in his beard. - 1278

Man cannot find his nose in heavy fog. - 1294

Man turns dog inside out. - 1284

Pipe falls into the water and found a year later still burning. - 1277

Pipe without channel smoked for a year. - 1277

Purse and clock drop from underneath lady's cloak. - 1279

Rambam's watch bought from dealer of antiquities in New York. - 1304

Remarkable bouncing rubber boots. - 1293

Salomon's huge drinking cup. - 854

Simple soldier invited to tea by Zar of Russia. - 1286

Skyscraper in New York scrapes the moon. - 1291

A Tale of contradictions. - 1310

Topsy-turvy land. - 1290

Traveller reaches the end of the world. - 1288

Twelve giant robbers attack man in the woods. - 1285

Expert

E. in mixing drinks asked by Brodes how to prepare brandy with wormwood. - 885

Expulsion

E. of Jews from Moscow. Frischmann's remark: "A Jew is no widower but divorced (expelled)". (Pun) - 1934

E. of Jews from Moscow. Some of them regarded as gentiles also go away. -1388

E. of Jews from the vicinity of the battle field (World War I in Russia). - ­2774

Eye(s)

Man with one e. claims to see more than his friend with both. - 2234

Eyes are examined by means of a prayer book. - 926